What’s Up With Money: People Say My Wife Wears The Money Pants

Describe your current relationship with money in three words.

Nnenna: Good-ish, maturing, and promising.

Chidi: Shaky. Interesting. Malicious.

That is a weird combo for you, Chidi. What do you do to make money?

Chidi: Sacrifice.

Nnenna: I’m sure she’s talking about reality, babe!

Chidi: Oh, I thought you meant what one could do to make money. I am an architect.

And Nnenna?

Nnenna: I am a project manager for a US-based insurance company.

How much do you make in a month?

Chidi: I don’t have a fixed income since my job is not salary-based. But, on average, I earn about ₦250k to ₦350k in a bad month and ₦450k to ₦600k in a really good month.

Nnenna: My monthly take-home is between $1,150 and $1,300 if I get some bonus.

It’s good you earn in local and foreign currencies. And how much do you spend as a couple?

Chidi: My wife should know more about this.

Nnenna: Babe, we have a joint account.

Chidi: And we both know who visits it more.

Nnenna: Don’t mind him. We spend according to the expenses that arrive every month. But, if I were to estimate, I’d say between ₦300k to ₦400k. And that’s because we have a baby.

Aww, congratulations! So, what do you spend the most money on in a month?

Chidi & Nnenna: The baby!

Chidi: You already know. When I was growing up, babies didn’t need much, but now… You will buy a stroller, and baby clothes –which are freaking expensive. Then you have car seat, breast pump, wardrobe, crib, baby monitor, carrier… Omo, the list is endless. Even the regular supplies are not cheap to buy!

Nnenna: The funny thing is that he is the one who insists on buying those things.

Chidi: Haa, see set-up o. Why won’t I insist when you keep sending me pictures of them and passively, in quote, mentioning them? You see women?

Looks like Chidi is on trial here.

Chidi: I’m always on trial with Nnenna.

Nnenna: And he always passes the vibe check.

That’s so sweet! Have you ever had any conflict because of money?

Nnenna: Is there any couple that does not have issues involving finance?

Chidi: I think every married couple faces money-related issues occasionally. But we never let them break us.

Do you mind sharing an instance of such conflicts?

Chidi: I think the most memorable one was when we were planning our wedding. I was earning very little then, between ₦80k to ₦100k. Nnenna didn’t want us to postpone the wedding, so she offered to help me with some funds.

My ego as a man was bruised. It made me feel little, and I distanced myself for a few days. That’s how Aunty knocked on my door one morning and gave me the schooling of my life.

Nnenna: I told him that a man who was insecure about financial differences in a relationship wasn’t fit to be a husband. And that Nnenna Okafor would never marry a man who would feel little of himself anytime I offered to support him financially.

Mmm, that is powerful! Did you have any money issues after that?

Chidi: The second one was after the wedding when I had to relocate to Abuja. I knew I didn’t have the money to rent the kind of house I wanted us to begin a family in.

Nnenna’s company based her in Abuja, with an ideal place where she was also receiving housing allowance. So, we discussed it and agreed that I would be the one to move. When the time came to relocate…

Nnenna: His elder brother refused o. He said Chidi should “be a man” and control the family. Two of his friends also had the same opinion. In this 21st century.

Chidi: (laughs) They know better now. However, some people still say my wife wears the money pants in the relationship.

Nnenna: Clueless people, you mean.

Chidi: Exactly! Coming to Abuja was the best thing that happened to me, though.

Really? How so?

Chidi: If I were still in Enugu, I would be making peanuts. Abuja gave me better connections and contracts, which, in turn, meant more money. Nnenna was, and still is, a blessing to me.

Nnenna: My head will soon burst.

Please hold it while I ask the next question. How do you save money based on your financial differences?

Chidi: We opened a joint account.

Nnenna: Yeah. We deposit about 25% of our personal income into the joint account and use it for family expenses.

What about personal expenses?

Nnenna: I spend from my personal account if it is for my personal needs or wants, and Chidi does the same.

Chidi: Hmm, say the truth o.

Nnenna: I sometimes ask Chidi for the money, but that’s when I think it should be the husband’s duty to get what I want at the time. Especially that lingerie. Remember it?

Chidi: How can I forget? That was the fastest $55 dollars I had ever spent!

Keep it PG, people!

Chidi: You are interviewing a married couple, and expect PG? Make it make sense.

Nnenna: Don’t mind him. We will behave.

Chidi: We are ready to answer the next question now.

Your energy is contagious! I want to know more about this joint account, though. Is it just for expenses or a big financial goal?

Chidi: The joint account is mainly for expenses.

Nnenna: But we have a fixed account where we deposit 20% of our income -saving towards our relocation goal.

Chidi: Yeah. We are looking to relocate to the US in the next two years, and Nnenna’s company is also helping with that.

That’s great! How much do you need for this goal? And how much have you saved?

Nnenna: We need about ₦10 million to ₦15 million.

Chidi: We had saved around ₦9 million. But then we had to borrow a few million to get a second car after we had the baby. So we are at ₦5 million now.

That’s really impressive. I'm confident you'll reach your target well before the two years are up.

Chidi: On God.

Nnenna: I believe so too.

Chidi: As long as we don’t have another baby.

Nnenna: I agree with you on that. And I trust you to keep your end of the bargain.

Chidi: What does that mean, babe?

I’m sure you both know what that means. Do you allocate funds for going on dates?

Chidi: I’d be sleeping on the couch if we didn't.

Nnenna: My guy! He knows this.

Who pays?

Chidi: We both do.

Nnenna: We share the responsibility. If he pays for this date, I pay for the next.

Chidi: Except it’s my treat.

Wow, I like the shared responsibility! And you don’t have any problem with that, Nnenna?

Nnenna: Why would I? Whoever said providing had to be one-sided in a relationship? It’s a give-and-take situation. Chidi was even all up for shouldering all the responsibilities.

Chidi: She’s right. She went, “How would we achieve all our financial goals if the bills are always on you?” She suggested we take turns.

That’s couple goals right there.

Nnenna: We are just partners trying to survive in a scary economy.

Chidi: Gbam.

Besides saving, do you have any investments?

Chidi: Yes. About a few months ago, we started investing in the stock market.

Nnenna: I don’t know much about the stock market, even though I work in insurance. But Chidi has been teaching me. That and real estate.

I must really commend how much you both pour into each other.

Chidi: We are learning every day.

Nnenna: Financial literacy is very important, especially in a country like Nigeria.

I totally agree with that. Okay, final question.

What would you do differently, finance-wise, if you were to return to when you first started a family?

Chidi: We would have had a more private wedding. Strictly invite-based.

Nnenna: Oh, my God, yes! We spent a lot to cater to our mammoth crowd of guests. And that ate deeply into our savings. Our parents even had to take care of other things.

Chidi: That’s why our child dedication ceremony was small and coordinated.

Nnenna: We can’t be extravagant with our spending when we have a long-term plan.

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